IT'S BEEN WAY TOO LONG

My Dear Sweet Odell, 

I feel really sad that it has been almost four years since I shared more
of our love story.  I had reached the point of wondering how to write the last chapter. 
I wasn't sure how to end our story. As long as I was sharing our precious memories,
in some way I felt you were still here with your girl.  My mind accepted you were in Heaven, but my heart just couldn't let you go!   I wanted to keep writing, keep sharing,
keep on keeping you close to me as long as I could.  I have missed you terribly!

The reality, Honey, is that while you will always and forever be in my heart,
because you hold your own special place no one else will fill, our love story
deserves to be shared and deserves it's finish...its completion.  

Whatever my future may hold, I have no desire to replace you and the beautiful love
we were blessed to share for eleven amazing years together. If God has a new man to share a new love together with me,
he'll be special. and will make his own place in my heart.
We'll make our own memories.  I believe he'll be a man you'd approve of. 

Being alone is so....lonely! 

And if he says 'dad blame', that'll be a plus.

Okay, Baby.  Let's see where we left off in our beautiful love story. . .

 

ISAAC. GOATS. THE OCEAN.

I loved watching the man I love hold our latest grandson.  Isaac.

A precious new bundle of joy.  Straight from Heaven.  Eventually, he shared
him with me...Nanny.
As with all our grandchildren, it was love at first sight.  Isaac was just a little young yet to know he was being held by yet another set of grandparents, but
I have no doubt he felt the love.

Seeing Sally and Steve again was long overdue.  It didn't matter that Sally was not biologically my daughter. I loved her from the first time we met in Tulsa.
She had come to Tulsa to meet me and to give
her stamp of approval. Which she did.
I knew this was important to her.
She and her Dad shared a close bond.


Now I felt a part of it.
Just not in this picture.

(smile).

The next couple of days were spent in their
home.  Catching up on our lives. Playing with Isaac.
                                                               
  Swigging  coffee.                            Laughing! 

Eating out with his brother, Ray, and wife, Joan.

Later, it was quite the experience for this city girl to take a ride
around the place in a golf cart with Ray. And SMELLING it from every point of the tour!

My secret is out!  I'm not a farm girl!  Odell was loving it.  My guy was definitely right at home on
a farm!   And as you can tell, this goat thought my guy was pretty cool!


Whoa!  Are they actually sharing a kiss here?  Do I have some serious competition?





Back to Sally's.  In our cozy bedroom upstairs. We were planning our own little mini getaway.
When I was ten years old, I lived in Florida for over a year. I was completely enthralled with 
the ocean!  And I hadn't been back to the ocean since that time....over forty years.  I had
always had such a longing to go back. It didn't have to be to Florida.  California would do
just fine.  Perfectly, in fact.

The next morning, Odell and I left for Pismo Beach.  It was such a beautiful drive through
the mountains...about 100 miles from Bakersfield. A place Sally had told us about. She said
we'd love the scenery.

Love it?  It was gorgeous!

ARRIVED & CHECKED IN

                                                                                                                          

MY BEAUTIFUL OCEAN....AND MY HANDSOME GUY

Who could ask for anything more?

Wow!  Getting to the water looks pretty
scary!  For me, at least. Oh, well...

I could hardly wait, but first things first.

My hubby and I were hungry!
And there was shopping to do!
And not necessarily in that order!

My ocean would still be waiting for me.
That evening. Later, I will explain a little
of why the countless steps looked like
such a huge challenge for me...
                                                                                      
                                                   

Adorable tourist town of Pismo Beach.

                             

So many cute little shops!  And cafes. In town.
On the beach front. Almost every nook and cranny. I had a feeling my hubby would opt for some food before following me around from shop to shop...

Looking for gifts for our grandchildren.
Loving his participation. His suggestions.
It was really fun. Would it last? Maybe not.
I would enjoy it for today at least...
shopping with my handsome guy...

I smiled when I saw him eyeing a Fish and Chips place.
Imagine finding fish in this cute place just off the beach.
Seriously?  They have fish around here?

Mmmmm.....it actually tasted sooo much
better in this little ocean front town.  Imagine that!

A few hours and four tired legs later,
we decided we'd had
about all the fun we could stand for one day.

A hot shower and a soft bed sounded
pretty good.  Leaning my head on his
shoulder, I sighed contentedly.  'Hey, honey,
I'm thinking I'll put my feet in the ocean
tomorrow...' He glanced at me for a second
and smiled, 'Uh huh...that's what I thought.' 

Hey, the ocean would still be there in the morning.
I snuggled closer to my guy.  I figured we had other pretty exciting ideas
demanding our attention this evening. (smile).  I wasn't wrong!

And the pursuit of a long awaited dream.

I could hardly wait to get down to the water...just to walk around in it for a minute.
To squish the sand between my toes. To look up into God's big beautiful sky. To
sigh. To smile. To tell Him 'Thank you for your amazing world! Thank you
for the most amazing guy in this world who loves me almost as much as I love him!'

( a funny ongoing argument for over eleven
amazing years together. It went like this: 'I love you, honey.'  And the response, 'I love you more').

Soon we would leave our little paradise and return to Bakersfield. We would spend
more time with Sally, Steve, and ...drum roll here...little Isaac...our latest blessing!

Upon our return, Sally shared the plans with us.  She wanted to take us somewhere for
a couple of nights.  Odell had been to this destination before we met. Not his girl! It would be my pleasure to allow him to show me all the sights and the bright lights!  


 LAS VEGAS, here we come!

You see?  There's always so much more to our story...

                               

Happy. In Love.

Okay.
Confession.
It isn't
my guy and me.

And yet it is...

MY DEAREST DARLING ODELL

It's 9:35 AM, May 1, 2012.

At this moment only two years ago, we were together.

You weren't well. Still recovering from another surgery.
But together.  I sat beside your bedside. Holding your hand.
Telling you how much I loved you. Smiling when you'd say,
'I love you, too, honey.'


Having no idea...not even the slightest hint...that less than
twelve hours from now, I would have to walk away without you.
Only knowing that you would have to stay a little longer due to
a post operative complication. But you would leave with me. There
was never even the slightest doubt of that.

How tragically and quickly things would change during that long
and fateful day.  Due to the gross negligence of the hospital staff
with their failure to replace your Nasal Gastric tube, you would
eventually aspirate on the accumulating fluids that were building
in your abdomen. Which I continually pointed out to the staff.
And that you were sick. And you were in pain. They would respond with
statements that there was no 'written order'. I would say, 'then call his doctor!'
What was wrong with these incompetent idiots??  It was like being in a fog....
like nothing I was telling them was getting through.

I watched you growing weaker as the day continued. I was so
frustrated with everyone not doing what needed to be done! I felt
like everything was in slow motion...all day...until your Respiratory
Therapist came in to give you your breathing treatment. When you asked
if you could do it later because you just didn't feel good, he said 'sure' and
asked me, 'what's going on?'  When I filled him in, he immediately rushed
out to the nurse's station and demanded immediate action. It was  just
too little too late. 


In only a few minutes, your room was filled with medical personnel...
two doctors from ER, nurses, and others.  All rushing around. What had
been a critical situation, one those on the floor were in denial of, was now
an urgent critical situation. It had been urgent all day!!


When it appeared they finally had things under control, I leaned over you
and told you I was going to leave for thirty minutes to go and get my clothes
from where I'd been staying. I told you that when I got back, I would not
leave your room again until you were leaving it with me. You weakly
told me you loved me, too, and said, 'good, honey' ...about me not leaving
your room again. Then I told you 'if you wake up and don't see me, I will just
be in your restroom, okay?' You smiled at me. Then I leaned down and we kissed
...not knowing it would be the last kiss we would share in this world.


When I left your room, Donnie stayed with you. Jennifer and our grandchildren
left to drive me to get my clothes. It was 9:30 PM.  Even then, I had not
even the slightest thought that you wouldn't make it...my concern was that
you would be sick and have to stay longer. Something I knew you didn't want to
do. You had been trying to 'get outta here' for the last couple of days.

At 9:58 PM, I re entered your room. Donnie told me later that, as I stepped in, I
stopped a second at the end of your bed. I touched your foot
gently and said, 'honey, I'm back.' He said that you murmured, 'hmmm.' I stood at the
foot of the bed with him, and asked him what else they did while I was gone. He
told me that they had re-inserted your catheter. He said that they asked you if it was
okay for Donnie to stay in the room and you laughed and said, 'it don't bother me
if it don't bother him.'   Wow, honey!  Even then, after all you had been through,
as weak as you were, you still managed to joke around!  You were always so amazing!


Two minutes after I stepped back into your room, Donnie and I heard this
awful sound and didn't have any idea it was you trying to breathe. I had never
heard anything like it in my life. I said, 'Donnie, see what's wrong!' He was the closest
to your side. He rushed to you while I rushed over to the other side of your bed.  I
watched in shock as Donnie lifted your head in his arms, crying out, 'hey, Buddy, what's
wrong, what's wrong?'  Then I saw you...your eyes were rolled back, and I was so, so
afraid then. I just remember crying, 'honey, honey!' Then I ran out into the hall, yelling
for someone 'get in there fast. He's not breathing!'


Code Blue was called.  Emergency personnel were crowding around your bed
in a matter of a couple of minutes or less.  Someone told me I would have to leave the
room, and of course I refused. No one could force me to leave you, honey, no way!
I was in such shock. All I could say over and over was, 'oh, God, oh, God, oh God...'
I was praying...no, begging...Him to not take you from me. Honey, there are no words
to describe the pain, the shock...just no words.  Sometime later, a nurse came up to me
and gently asked if I'd like to move up closer to your side, to which I responded an
emphatic 'yes'.  Then she led me out into the hall and had someone bring a chair for me.
She must have known I would never have left your room without being tricked into it.
I wanted to be in there with you.  You know what, Baby? I know by that time you
were already in the arms of the angels. And I believe you saw me completely falling
apart. You never liked for me to be upset and crying. I don't think you wanted me
in there...watching in anguish as they worked diligently in their attempts to get you back.


In the hall, I had our son, Donnie, and his family to be close to me, for which I am so
thankful!  They had been there all day! I don't know how I could have made it without
those strong arms holding me up. He had also made phone calls to our Pastor, and to all
our children. They were on their way.

At one point, one of the doctors stepped out into the hall and asked if I wanted him to keep
working to revive you. Of course I did!  The next time he came out was to ask the same
question. I asked him if you would be okay if he could 'bring you back'. He said you had
been too long without oxygen to your brain. Then I knew, honey. You were so strong
in telling me you never wanted to be kept alive on some 'stupid machine.' We both had
agreed that 'that's not living.'  Here again, there are no words to tell you the crushing feeling
in my chest...the feeling that is there even as I write this today.

Donnie stood behind me with his arms around my neck and sobbed like a baby. He kept
saying, 'I'll take care of you, mama..'  I know he felt that responsibility as my oldest son.
And he loved you so much, honey, as much as you loved him. What a cool relationship the
two of you shared. Joking. Laughing. Working together in your plumbing business. The
one you wanted him to take over someday. And actually told him that on this very day.

It was amazing how quickly all the other children arrived with their families. Sally couldn't
get there yet. It just wasn't possible. She had to get a flight out of Bakersfield. I can only
imagine how devastating it had to be for her...not being able to be there with us. Honey,
there was such heartbreak there. And there was love....for a husband and dad who had
given us all so much of himself.

Finally, the kids felt we should leave. Christy, Lori, Donnie, and Randy. Their families.
All the beautiful grandchildren you loved as your very own. They wanted to get a room somewhere.
Just not the Hampton. I couldn't go there.  Not now. Probably not ever again. One of the places
you and I had shared such happy times.  Now they would just be sweet memories...


Leaving that hospital was so hard to do. I was leaving without you, Darling...my husband, the
love of my life.  It wasn't supposed to be like this.  We were going to leave there together...in
just a few more days.  Looking back, I don't know how I ever made myself walk away that night.
It had to be God being so close to me.  God and my precious, loving family.  


I have to mention the sweetest memory, honey. It was that night in our motel room, that I held
little Andrew on my lap. He just wanted to lay his head on my chest, and stroke my arm. He
was so precious! It was like he knew something was wrong and he wanted to comfort Nanny.
Christy was sitting beside us. Observing this precious moment.  She looked at me and said
something I won't ever forget, 'Oh, mama, God knew you would need this little angel tonight.'


The rest of that night is a blur. Like a nightmare you try to wake up from. And can't. I felt pain. I felt numbness. I can't describe it. I was so exhausted, I did fall asleep. Only I awakened later, crying out
for you. I must have thought we were in our room and you had gotten up. It was Christy...just
going to the restroom, I think.  She told me about it later.

Life would never ever again be the same without you, my sweet, darling Odell. Somehow I would
have to get through the next few days...moment by moment.. Leaning. Just leaning on my children's
strength. And on God. His strength. His gentle arms that would carry me. It would be the only way
I could begin to navigate the dark, dark, turbulent waters ahead...

Today. Two years. It is hard to believe that it has been that long. And yet, the years have been
long without you. I know. It doesn't make much sense. Some ask me if it is any better yet? No.
I don't think it will ever be any better.  Time will help it to get easier...just not better. How can
anyone think being without you would ever be better? I have just very recently stopped leaning down
to kiss all your pictures before going to bed. I just didn't want it to become like some kind of
ceremony. I still kiss at least one. And I hug the pillow Lori made for me... with your handsome face. I cuddle it every night going to sleep. And I talk to you sometimes. Do you hear me? Sometimes I feel you so close...

SO...I don't understand how being without the man you love with all your being can ever be better. 
I know people mean well. Not everyone understands.  Unless you have had to say goodbye to the
love of your life, your soul mate, your daily companion and best friend, how could you possibly
understand? Simply put, you can't.

Honey, I am happy! I have our children, our grandchildren, friends, and other
family who love me and whom I love dearly.  That will never change. It's just
that without you here beside me, it isn't the same. THAT part is still sad. It's the
part of my heart went with you when you had to leave...the part that loved you!

I am also asked if I will ever marry again. This is how I feel. I just can't see how I could ever
love another man the way I have loved you!  I believe that a love like ours comes once
in a lifetime. Honey, is it my fault that you set the bar so high, I doubt anyone can come up to
that standard? (smile).

I miss you so much, honey. I just want the love we shared to always be in my heart.
I don't want another man to attempt to take your place.  You have a special place in 
this girl's heart that no one will ever take. IF God wills another marriage for me,
this man will have his own place...never yours. If He has someone in mind, He hasn't
told me!


I just know I will always love you, my darling Odell, and I can't wait to
one day tell you again... in person.  I long to be in your arms again, honey.


Thank you for making me the happiest girl ever!  Thank you for loving me so deeply.
Thank you for JUST BEING YOU, the man I love and adore.


And, honey, wait for me, okay?  I may be slower, but I'll be there eventually! With you!
And we won't have to say goodbye again...not ever.


I love you.
I love you.

It's a long, rough path to walk alone. Knowing you're
at the end of it, makes it okay. Just reach out your
big, strong hand for me, honey.. just.one more time.

JUST MOVED IN. NOW LEAVING FOR CALIFORNIA

I know. It doesn't sound like it makes a lot of sense.  Here we were...barely settled
in our new home, and ready to take off. You know. Pack and head for the hills.
Actually the mountains. We knew exactly where we were going. To see Sally.
Odell's daughter. And mine now, too. There was also another little reason to go...


It was time to meet our newest grandson, Isaac.
And since this precious little one resided with his parents, Sally and Steve,
in Bakersfield, California, well...where else would we be going?
That's right. To the other side of the world!

It was exciting getting ready for our trip. Doing anything with my guy was exciting!
I just knew he would love showing his girl all the sights along the way. (smile).

Soon we were on our way, singing 'California, here we come...'  Well, actually,
I may have been flying solo on that one, but I didn't mind.
I felt like Lucy sitting beside Ricky in their new Cadillac,
with Fred and Ethel taking up resident in the back seat. Love that episode!

Anyway, it was exciting!  The plans were to drive all night and arrive

the next morning in Albeuerque.  Or maybe for Odell to drive all night and awaken me when we arrived. Because that's what happened.   A gentle nudge on my shoulder and that soft drawl I
loved to hear, 'honey, we're here..' and I was back to the land of the living. And what land it was! Beautiful majestic mountains off in the distance were demanding my attention.

I remember asking Odell how anyone could see all the beauty around us and not believe in it's Creator. That's always been beyond my comprehension.  And his.

We checked into our hotel.
And we didn't check out...not for a few hours. (smile). Hey. It was
nice...so welcoming. And my guy definitely needed some sleep.

 Later we would do a little sight seeing and
dine in a nice restaurant for dinner.  Which we did...eventually.
And ended our pleasant day with a refreshing dip in the hotel pool.
Actually, we ended it relaxing in the hot tub. Together of course.
Isn't that the only way to enjoy it? We thought so!

                       (Okay. So it isn't my guy and me! You get the picture)!

Back 'on the road again'. And yes, I probably sang that song, too.(smile).

It wasn't hard to stay awake this time. I was enjoying the amazing
scenery along the way. And loving sharing it with my own very handsome
and very personal tour guide. Could I be any more loved and blessed?
I honestly couldn't imagine it...and I told him so...something I did frequently.
The drive was nice. Looking. Talking. Laughing. Touching. And those
sweet, quiet moments were nice, too.

Then we were there! Not California. The Grand Canyon. There are no
words to describe the magnificence of God's amazing handiwork here.

Hearing about it didn't begin to compare
to the thrill of actually standing and looking
over these gorgeous mountains. It was literally breath taking! As I stood there with those
strong arms around me,
I knew there was no one else in the world I
wanted to share this beautiful moment with.

We took our time. No reason to hurry.
Finally, we pulled ourselves away from all
that wonderfulness. We wanted to get to our destination before dark.
Once we were on our way, I thought it might be nice to just close my eyes for a little snooze.
Not for long. Odell assured me he wasn't too sleepy and didn't need me to help drive.
Scooting closer to his side, and sighing happily, I gave in. Just for a few minutes.

I'm not sure when the few minutes turned into hours. I just know I became semi-conscious
when I felt a big, strong hand gently caressing my leg. It had to be my handsome tour guide!
Taking liberties, was he?  I smiled at him sleepily. 'Almost there, baby?'
He squeezed my leg. 'Pretty close, honey.' 


 He was right.  It wasn't too long before we were standing at their front door.
Soon I would have the pleasure of watching Pa Pa hold our grandson for the first time.
And then it would be Nanny's turn.

And not much longer before you, my readers, hear the rest of the story.
of this chapter...

Love is a beautiful journey
with the one you love and
completely adore.

LEAVING HAPPY CAMP ROAD

Oh, my goodness, where do I begin?

Life on Happy Camp Road was happy.
Stressful at times. Rivers to cross. A few dark valleys.
Still...happy. There was no other way to be when we
were together. We wouldn't let circumstances...good or
bad...define who we were. Or dictate our happiness.

Most of the rivers and valleys had a name.
ME.  I was in the accident that subsequently landed me
in Rehabilitation for six weeks. It was me with the hip
fractures and subsequent hospitalization. It was me
with the hospitalization for congestive heart failure and
pulmonary hypertension diagnosis. Not what I ever wanted
to hear. Having the deep love and faithfulness of this
amazing man God blessed me with...to stand by me
through it all...that's what you want. (smile and big sigh).

Our reason for leaving was the fact that our mobile home was not
properly set up. Our floors were becoming soft and 'mushy'.
It was actually possible to step through these areas if not very
cautious. Most definitely the threat of leg fractures or something
worse, didn't thrill us. It was time to move on to greener pastures.

Wait. Did I just say 'greener pastures?' How about 'city sidewalks' in
Broken Arrow? A two story house. Close neighbors. Barking dogs.
School buses. Noisy teenagers.

Definitely not country living. No acreage. Just a large enough back yard
for my guy to put in a garden. Sadly, it wouldn't be huge. Yet I had no doubt
it would be good. Odell never did anything halfway. My mouth would soon be
watering once again for his wonderful tomatoes!

 I admit Waco Street didn't have the same cheerful ring as Happy Camp Road...
but that was okay.  We knew whatever road God led us to, therewith to be content.
And happy.  Looking forward to making new memories here. And always,
always in love...


Happiness isn't the place you live.

It's knowing the one you love is there with you...
   

MY HUBBY...MY HIPPIE

I know.  It sounds a little strange. Even for me.  You, my faithful readers, have seen
many pics of my guy.  None of them come close to resembling a hippie, right? 
Well...trust me. There is a method to my madness.


It all started one day when a crazy idea popped into my busy imagination. A fun
joke to play on a couple of people we loved. If you were one of the chosen to be
on the receiving end of our fun, you knew you were loved. (smile).  Knowing the
good sport my sweet guy was...and loving pleasing his girl...it was practically a
done deal. Or soon would be. After my little shopping trip... while he was off doing
what he was so amazing doing...plumbing!


I decided quickly that daisy patterned bell bottom pants from the sixties would be
difficult, if not impossible, to find.  I figured it would it would have to be men's
shorts. Maybe some denim cut offs. I had to trust that my guy would even put 
them on...much less be caught in public with them.  The fake hair and mustache...
even the clip on earrings...would be an easy sell.  I wasn't so confident about the
cutoffs.  Odell believed God never intended the male species to go running around showing their hairy legs. The first time (and other subsequent occasions) I heard
him state his opinion on this, I smiled. And commented I guessed it was just an 
individual choice.  Looks like I would be finding out shortly...'how deep is your love' ...
like the song goes. (anxious smile here).


Okay. His love runs deeply...whew!  Here's my 'new' guy, all ready for a fun joke.
And, I might add, enjoying his new look! 

Is he uniquely adorable or what?


Please don't say what.






My self appointed job for the day: personal
chauffeur to this distinguished guy.
Remember Mamaw Sanders, previously
introduced in our story? Odell loved 'aggravating'
her. Which both annoyed and entertained her.
I dropped him off at the end of her drive, and
hid the car around the corner. Giggling. About
five minutes later, I would learn just how it went.

Her:     (opened door cautiously) Yes?  
Him:    Yeah..uh, ma'am, need your lawn mowed?
Her:     No.  Someone already mowed it.
            (tried to close door).
Him:    Uh...what about your roof? I fix leaks.
Her:     No, no. Just had it fixed. (tried again
             to close door on him).
Him:    (put his hand out toward door) But wait,
             ma'am. I can fix anything in your house.
Her:     (tried seriously to close door) No!! I don't
            need nothin' fixed! (paused, peered closer
            at her uninvited intruder). ODELL??
Him:    (threw back his head, laughing). Yeaaah?


After awhile of much laughing with Mamaw, we headed back out to the limo. Hey. Isn't that the vehicle most commonly used to
 chauffeur wealthy and most elite hippies? Second and final destination:
 Arnold's Hamburgers. Unsuspecting victim: son and Manager, Donnie.


Once more, I parked the big limo out of sight.  And watched my guy walk 
inside. Where famous juicy burgers were promised. Once more, I would
have to wait to hear all the juicy details.

Her:     May I take your order?
Him:    No, ma'am. I wanna git  a job.
Her:     (looked at him like he was a druggie)
             Uh...just a minute. Hang on. (She 
             disappeared to kitchen never to return)

 Mgr:    Sir.  What can I do for you? (looked prepared
              for possible trouble from this 'character')
 Him:    Yeah. I just wanna git a job here.
  Mgr:   Yes, sir. You'll just need to fill out 
             this application  (as he handed him 
             the App, he noticed a crooked mustache.
            ODELL??
             
I would love to have been a fly on the wall when Donnie
discovered he had been 'had' by Odell. Most
likely there were friendly threats of 'getting even.'


It was a fun trip out to our home on Happy Camp Road.
I remember the laughs we shared during the long
stretch of highway.   We had no way of knowing at that time
of the valleys that may lie ahead. It wasn't something we needed to know. Laughter
and fun were meant to be shared with one another. It was a warm, fuzzy feeling to
share it with those we loved. That was just us.  I loved the sound of  that little word.  
I scooted closer to this man I so loved and adored.  I sighed as my eyes closed.
I thought he just may have to awaken me when we got home. So glad he had
assumed the chauffeur duties.  Another big sigh.


 Ahhh! Happy. In love  And sooo sleepy...                                                    

                                                                                     
                                                  Actually, looks like my guy
                                                        was the sleepy one!                                  
                                                                                    
                                                                                   

CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU...

My dearest darling, I love you so much

. 
It's Christmas Eve.  My second Christmas without you.

I'm sitting here alone. Thinking of you. Missing you. Wishing with all my heart that you were here.
I miss the twinkle in your eyes as you handed me one of my gifts. I know shopping wasn't your favorite thing to do, but even if it was 5:30 Christmas Eve, you always managed to shop for your angel. And I always loved it...no matter what it was because it was from you. Every year I knew I would be getting Clinique Happy or Happy Heart. My favorite was Happy Heart, but sometimes you would forget and get me Happy.  It didn't matter. What mattered was that you cared enough to shop for me. What mattered and really counted was that we were together.
Happy.
And so much in love.
I miss the joy of shopping for you, my sweet, amazing husband. I even miss hearing you say, 'Honey, you did too much!'  
Didn't you know, honey, I could never do too much for you? 
Never.

Last night we had our family Christmas at Christy and Don's. It was really nice just being with everyone. Eating together.
Laughing.
Opening our gifts.
Watching our grandchildren's faces light up when they opened something they really were wishing for. 
It was lovely. It just wasn't complete.
Not without you.  
Memories of eleven family Christmases together flood my heart this evening. 
How I wish we could go back to our first Christmas before we were married.  December 25, 1999.  
If only we were given the gift of starting over...

I wonder, Baby, what Christmas is like for you in Heaven?
It has to be beautiful beyond words!
JESUS IS CHRISTMAS.
I can only try to imagine how awesome that must be! At the same time, the selfish part of me wants you here with me.  I just know it will be that way always...until we are together again someday.

Our children and grandchildren miss you!
Friends miss you!

If I could sing a song for you now, it would be All I Want for Christmas Is You.

Honey, if I'm not with you next Christmas, I will do a really nice Christmas Tribute for you. Complete with pictures and music, to share with all our friends and family. I so wish it were possible to do today.  Unfortunately, my laptop was stolen from my apartment a couple of weeks ago, and I just recently found a temporary replacement. 
That must sound strange to you...stealing...when there is no sin where you are. Wow!

I just love you so very  much, my darling Odell.
When I think of you...which is everyday..., I smile.
I laugh.
And I cry.
And now tears are blurring my vision. Yet I don't want you to feel sad for me, honey. Missing you so much is only temporary.
It won't be forever.

Someday we'll spend our Christmases together again. And tears will be a thing of the past.

 MERRY CHRISTMAS, DARLING.

I  LOVE YOU!!!

'IF YOU HAD KNOWN...'

Hmmm....it would appear this story is leaning a bit heavily on being too much about me. While I don't want to continue drawing attention to myself...because I much prefer to talk about the love of my life...it would seem I'm always right in the middle of it all!  I'm determined not to wonder if this wonderful man would have had second thoughts about me had he known how accident prone I am...and how many physical problems came with the 'complete package' he claimed to dearly love. Oh, well, I shall be content with knowing I'm so loved by him, and just not go there with silly doubts...And, after all, our story somehow sort of just includes me, too! (smile)

One might think that a wreck and six weeks in rehab should be enough attention for one person.
And it should have been. I was beginning to wonder if living on Happy Camp Road would indeed be as happy as we thought.  Correction.  Happy, yes. Without trials and tribulations? No.

I don't know when this pain started in my extreme lower back, or when it got to the point it was excruciating. I just know that it continued to get worse and quickly. My doctor ordered an MRI after examining me. My daughter, Christy, said she could take me for the test.This portion would be much better told by her. It is my understanding that this story, along with others in which I am the main character, has been told to several of her friends. I have been told that her friends laugh so hard, they are actually in tears, and begging for 'more mom stories.'  You see, Christy has quite a talent for telling funny events, and she does embellish them somewhat. You know...just to make them really interesting!


When we arrived at the medical facility for the MRI, my daughter had me wait in the car while she went inside to get a wheelchair for me.  Slowly and painfully, I got out of the car and into the wheelchair. The journey began. This was not a fun or happy journey. She had brought out a wheelchair, unbeknownst to her, that had a broken wheel. This little wheel didn't manifest itself until we started up a slight incline. Bump...bump...bumpity bump! Christy had to keep starting over because she was laughing so hard.  The bumpy attempts were doing nothing to ease my pain!  During these rough and repeated attempts, a car drove up and parked close by.

Christy glanced over and noticed a professionally dressed lady getting out and carrying a chart. Assuming she worked in the MRI office, possibly returning from lunch, my daughter turned to her, ''Here!  You take her. I've had it!'  The lady looked a bit confused but smiled and said, 'oh, okay, sure...'  Upon arriving inside, Christy turned to thank her. The lady was approaching the check in window. She was carring her exray films. She was there for an MRI herself.
Can you imagine our embarrassment...especially Christy's...asking a lady who was most likely in pain herself, to push a patient up an incline in a wheel chair with a broken wheel...Oh, my goodness! I couldn't look up at that point.

Before my doctor received results from the tests, I continued to get worse.  I should have gone to the Emergency Room, but I hated those places!  I thought if I just gave it time, I would get better.

It was a Sunday morning. We were invited to attend the church which Christy and her family attended.  There was a very special reason for this.  Two of my grandsons were going to be baptized that morning during the worship service.  I remember Odell being really concerned about whether or not I should attempt to go. 'Honey, are you sure you can do this? I think you're in way too much pain.'  He further tried to convince me that Christy would understand if I couldn't make it. Of course, I agreed with him. I knew she would understand, but I wanted to be there for their Baptism. I figured with his strong arms to help me, I could do it.  He finally agreed to give it a try. When we got to Tulsa, we went by to pick up Mamaw Sanders. It was when I got out of the car to let her ride in the front with Odell, that I  realized maybe this hadn't been such a good idea, after all.  I could barely move. Every movement was jerky and twisted.  Aaagh!

I was determined to do it! When we finally arrived at the church, my sweet Odell went inside to ask if there was a wheel chair we could borrow.  By that time, I was feeling a bit self conscious. Oh, dear God! The pain had become unbearable! But I was stubborn enough not to admit how badly I was hurting. I remember actually smiling and saying 'hello' to the curious onlookers, as I was wheeled into the sanctuary. I made it through the service. It was such a sweet baptism of Austin and Kagen. I can't believe what happened next.  I don't think my family realized the extent of my pain when they all decided we should go out and eat. Okay. I admit it was stupid of me not to tell them then and there a big 'I CAN'T DO IT', but did I? Of course not. We dined at El Chico's. I was in increasing El Pain-O!  After we arrived home, Odell helped me into bed. I got up a little later to take a very shaky shower. I knew I had to go to the ER...no other option. When we got there, I was admitted. More tests were run. I had several small fractures in the sacral. (I know. I had never heard that word before either. It's the very lowest portion of the spine).  Prior to one of the tests, I was given a pill to swallow. It was the last thing I knew until I opened my eyes, looking much like a startled deer in the headlights...a roomful of people surrounded my bed..and there were paddles on my heart to shock me back to life.  For some unknown reason, I had stopped breathing. I was in the hospital for several days and finally released to go home. The total bed rest had allowed the fractures to heal. Bed rest and prayers.  Especially the prayers.  I was so thankful to be getting out of there!

Ahhh...home at last.  In our bed. With my adorable husband beside me.  I turned toward him. I just had to ask him. 'Baby, if you had known all this before we had married, would you...' He stopped me mid sentence, 'Honey, shame on you! Don't even go there. Yes, I would have married you!' I smiled. I already knew it.  In my heart, I knew how loved I was by my guy!  I just wanted to hear him say the words.
I hoped and prayed that this would be the last scary situation I would put us in. More than that, I hoped he would never put me there, either.  Yet, there was one thing I knew for sure and that is that we never know for sure. It's all in God's hands. And we would just have to be content to put our trust in Him for our future. I sighed contentedly as I snuggled closer in his arms.  It was so sweet to be kissed by him, to play footsies with my guy, and so sweet to be home sweet home.

HONORING ODELL EDWARDS TODAY 11/11/11

DAIRY QUEEN AND A GARDEN, TOO!

I know. DQ and a garden? What does one have to do with the other?
Okay. It doesn't. Except in one way. They both made us very happy!
We hadn't been settled in long before we discovered a delightful surprise.
Just down the street about 15 miles in the city of Okmulgee. True, it wasn't a leisurely stroll down Happy Camp Road. Then again, it was much closer than Eureka Springs...the place we were last treated to these yummy dipped cones.  It was always chocolate for my guy and either butterscotch or cherry for his girl. Remember, decision making isn't one of my better attributes. (smile). I think my husband found it charming or cute. Which is why he sometimes affectionately called me 'Lucy' as previously mentioned.

Since we couldn't exist on dipped cones alone, Odell successfully put in an amazing garden our second
summer there.  The tomatoes were absolutely divine!  There's just no comparison to the flavor from tomatoes ripened in the sunlight on 'de vine!  And the okra...oh, my goodness! It was everywhere!

We harvested so much of it that we were giving it away by the five pound bags full.  I just have to brag on my gardener. Not only did he give it away, he washed it, cut it, and bagged it.  All it lacked was a ribbon and bow. Oh, and did I  mention he
delivered it?  Along with those delicious tomatoes and cucumbers.

I had heard so
much about 'Odell's garden'.  It was even better than all the
boasting from some of his family.  I felt so proud of him!

This would be the first of many gardens to come. There would be an even bigger one in the future. I would be
almost as busy as my husband...making salsa, rotating tomatoes from the huge crop, and giving, giving, and then...did I mention giving?


No matter how weary I would get, I knew without a doubt it would be worth all the hard work...just seeing the smile on the face of my guy.

You remember...
                             the one I completely adored?


                             the one who stole the heart of


                                         this girl?

                           

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