It's Christmas Eve. My second Christmas without you.
I'm sitting here alone. Thinking of you. Missing you. Wishing with all my heart that you were here.
I miss the twinkle in your eyes as you handed me one of my gifts. I know shopping wasn't your favorite thing to do, but even if it was 5:30 Christmas Eve, you always managed to shop for your angel. And I always loved it...no matter what it was because it was from you. Every year I knew I would be getting Clinique Happy or Happy Heart. My favorite was Happy Heart, but sometimes you would forget and get me Happy. It didn't matter. What mattered was that you cared enough to shop for me. What mattered and really counted was that we were together.
Happy.
And so much in love.
I miss the joy of shopping for you, my sweet, amazing husband. I even miss hearing you say, 'Honey, you did too much!'
Didn't you know, honey, I could never do too much for you?
Never.
Last night we had our family Christmas at Christy and Don's. It was really nice just being with everyone. Eating together.
Laughing.
Opening our gifts.
Watching our grandchildren's faces light up when they opened something they really were wishing for.
It was lovely. It just wasn't complete.
Not without you.
Memories of eleven family Christmases together flood my heart this evening.
How I wish we could go back to our first Christmas before we were married. December 25, 1999.
If only we were given the gift of starting over...
I wonder, Baby, what Christmas is like for you in Heaven?
It has to be beautiful beyond words!
JESUS IS CHRISTMAS.
I can only try to imagine how awesome that must be! At the same time, the selfish part of me wants you here with me. I just know it will be that way always...until we are together again someday.
Our children and grandchildren miss you!
Friends miss you!
If I could sing a song for you now, it would be All I Want for Christmas Is You.
Honey, if I'm not with you next Christmas, I will do a really nice Christmas Tribute for you. Complete with pictures and music, to share with all our friends and family. I so wish it were possible to do today. Unfortunately, my laptop was stolen from my apartment a couple of weeks ago, and I just recently found a temporary replacement.
That must sound strange to you...stealing...when there is no sin where you are. Wow!
I just love you so very much, my darling Odell.
When I think of you...which is everyday..., I smile.
I laugh.
And I cry.
And now tears are blurring my vision. Yet I don't want you to feel sad for me, honey. Missing you so much is only temporary.
It won't be forever.
Someday we'll spend our Christmases together again. And tears will be a thing of the past.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, DARLING.
I LOVE YOU!!!
